Dear my J:

I’m spending the darkest night, waiting for the flowers in bloom. 

Sometimes, I just can’t empty my head where always recalls memories of good and bad. They just like a giant sand timer, playback these memories again and again. I’m holding the time to live, feel joys and sorrows much longer than anyone else. 

I have had to recall and rearrange all of my past, brought them to the moon, and bade farewell to myself in that past. My world is now full of darkness, not because it is empty but because it is full of memories. You light up my world’s darkness, I can finally escape from these memories that bound me so hard for so long. 

I know everyone has their own stories, and when they share it with you it means a lot. I’m so grateful you shared your story with me yesterday. I felt the same feeling as you did when you told me your past – I felt wronged, a beautiful vase shattered into a million pieces, but at the same time  I felt your unbreakable heart. I realise I care you so much, so much than I thought before. And I just want to tell you that I got your back. 

My love is flowers in your hand, soon to bloom. I hope the bud is eventually bursted, develops a beautiful flower, put them in a vase that never to be broken. It is our time, our space, and the faith. I have great faith in you and me, to build up a universe that we can be closely connected forever.

I think I’m ready to say it finally. James, I would like to say…

I love you, my 6 billion miracle. I really love you. 

Anna