To my dearest A,
The title is probably the only word to describe how I felt recently. I picked these words for the title of the first letter I’ve ever written to anybody, just want to tell the whole world your presence in my life means so much to me. And yes world! I found her, my entire world – Anna.
I’ve made a promise to myself that I will not be going to switch on my emotional button before I found someone who can understand me profoundly, but I found you, my Anna. I want to let you know I have no words to describe my love for you or tell you what your presence means to me. No one can bring that much joy to me, NO ONE. I just love waking up next to you every morning and seeing the smiles on your face, I know there’s nothing that can compare with it. I know things aren’t always perfect, I wouldn’t trade a single second of our life together, especially those moments when it’s just us. Hell, I would even sacrifice my body parts to make us stay together. Because I feel like losing my breath like asthma every time when I imagine that you will leave me, it just hurts…
And deep down…..
I wish you could stay here a little bit longer till next year because I’m sure that my heart will never change even a year later and I really want to prove that to you.
I wish I have the ability to buy up the whole world for you, and you can pursue your dream here with me.
I wish I can shut down all the emotions that I have in my heart and I am sorry for being a bit selfish to think that you will be staying, but I do know that you have a dream to pursue and I have to learn to let go a bit as a man who loves you the most. As I promised you that if you are the bird, I will be the bird too.
I wish there are no realities, just the time and the space where we can cherish each other.
I have to be honest with you, the sense of fear was coming out from nowhere in my heart when I think of the fact that you will be staying in Korea for a long period, but right now I am so confident that I can overcome all the obstacles and problems, as my feelings to you are so strong and deep and I have never had this feeling before. I will hold you tight as if you are the rock to me instead of the sand slipping through my fingers. Let us not hate each other but let love and time heal all wounds. I am confident that you are my soulmate, and our relationship will overcome this dark phase. I will still cherish you.
My love is forever yours,
James Wong